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Alex Horne's Seven Years in the Bathroom at the Civic Theatre, Chelmsford

By Brentwood Gazette  |  Posted: June 06, 2012

LIFE DISTILLED: Alex Horne's show attempts to recreate the average man's life from birth to death in statistics

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Civic Theatre, Chelmsford, 8pm Tickets £12. Bookings on 01245 606505 or at www.chelmsford. gov.uk/theatres

WHEN you hear life statistics such as an average person will spend three months opening jars and two years queuing, you wonder how much of your existence is wasted on petty tasks.

On Saturday, June 9, comedian Alex Horne will be visiting Essex to reveal just this, by performing his show Seven Years In The Bathroom at Chelmsford's Cramphorn Theatre at 8pm.

During the hour-long show, Alex will attempt to recreate the average man's life from birth to 79 years old. This precisely-timed performance explains the weeks, months and years we spend on everyday activities throughout our lives.

Generally, the longer the amount of time we spend on a task, the longer it is discussed. For example, the one year we devote to looking in the mirror is discussed for 45 seconds, but the four years we spend sitting in the car takes up three minutes.

Alex says "I'm going to show you exactly what it would look like if a human life was condensed into one hour."

His manic performance uses many props from a Rustler's burger to a panda. He also involves the audience by having them partake in the spectacle. These interactive techniques help make the one-man show more collaborative.

Alex enjoys discovering strange statistics, particularly those that make you think. He has built his career creating shows around niche subjects like bird watching and dictionaries.

He is the star and co-creator of BBC Four's comedy quiz show We Need Answers. He also won the Chortle award for Best Breakthrough Act in 2004, and was nominated for the Perrier Best Newcomer Award after his 2003 show Making Fish Laugh.

Over the years Alex has established himself among critics, audiences and comics as an original and thoughtful stand-up and performer. Seven Years in the Bathroom is no exception, as it draws attention to the bizarre statistics of life, whilst poking fun at human beings. It differs from the usual storytelling technique of modern comedians.

"I'll be attempting several things for the first time ever in public: wearing a bathrobe, drinking exactly 100ml of cider and simulating sex, to name a few," says Alex.

Critics have praised Alex's past performances. The Edinburgh Evening News says the show is: "Packed with surreal touches and thought-provoking statistics that is consistently amusing and charming throughout." The Sunday Times has described it as "A beguiling blend of the smart and the stupid… a real delight."

Take this opportunity to laugh at the silliness of human existence. Hayley Baldwin

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